In honor of Sarah

I posted the first blog Sarah did in her series of ” Moral Rehab” at The Elite Gymnast and I was inspired. I decided to come up with my own blog of nice things to say about the 5 gymnasts she used in her series.

So the link is to each of Sarah’s individual gymnasts so you know who I am talking about. The comments are the nice things I can come up with.

Carly Patterson

1. The best part of re-watching the 2003 worlds is to listen to the girls on the team talk about someone from another team falling off a beam. Carly’s response to the fall was a sarcastic “Aw. That’s too bad” Classic line from Miss Carly that still makes me laugh 8 years later.

2. I liked her song “back to the beginning. One of those cheesy tunes I sing in the shower. Please excuse her being off key and the tune never changing she must have been sick. The outfit kind of looks like she is a stripper in a lounge act but I bet Nastia chose this for her. So we can’t blame Carly for it.

2. If it wasn’t for Carly, Nastia would be the first American to win the Olympic AA Gold medal in a fully attended Olympics. Think about that for a second. Imagine how many times Tim and Elfi would share this fact with us. I thank Carly every day for winning that gold medal.


Alicia Sacramone

1. Bradyn ” Brady” Tyler Quinn is “hot” Alicia doesn’t always have good taste in boys (he was QB for Notre Dame and every year he got his ass kicked by BC:) but this one is a keeper. At least in the looks department.

2. Alicia can beat up boys. Some boys need to get the shit kicked out of them once in awhile.

3. Alicia is from Massachusetts. Don’t listen to Sarah when she says we aren’t all nice down here. She doesn’t know what she is talking about. Just don’t drive with us. Or come to Fenway dressed in pinstrips because then you will see a nasty side of us that won’t put us in a very good light.

Nastia Liukin

She is a real blond. Well I don’t know if the carpet matches the drapes (I suppose we could ask Evan but I doubt he would have any insider information) but the hair looks real.

2. I love her name. Not her stupid nick name Nastia but her real name. The name Anastasia is very pretty.

3. She is single-handedly trying to bring back the 80’s phenom of the Flash dance sweatshirt falling off the side of your shoulder. I mean we could have lost this gaudy fad forever. Thank God for Nastia bringing it back.

Shawn Johnson

1. Shawn is cute as a button. All American’s are stupid and only like the cute ones so I thought I would further that notion and use it as a reason number 1.

2. She won beam in China. Saving us from another undeserved Gold medal like the one the UB judges tried to hand Nastia on a silver platter.

3. She had great difficulty and great form (minus the jumps) but anyone that can do a cast to handstand with her feet together in 2010 gets liked by me. Seriously watch everyone else. Even Komova and NO ONE does this anymore. It’s a lost art.


Dominique Moceanu

1. Ummmmmm. ????????

1. She isn’t a twin. One of them is Scary enough. Two of them? I don’t even want to think about it.


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4 Responses to “In honor of Sarah”

  1. Sarah! Says:

    That was a very nice blog post. You’re a lot nicer to the Americans than I am. As soon as I wake up I’m going to drop two bombs on Moceanu, then I’m going to tell everybody about Carly’s home state of Louisiana.

    Now – what happens if I show up at a Red Sox game with a pin-striped T-shirt that says RED SOX SUCK?

    Cause you could probably go to Dodger Stadium with a DODGERS SUCK shirt and the only comments you’d get are, “You got any weed?”


  2. gymtruthteller Says:

    Suck? Please did you not see our off season? Fenway does not allow suck shirts so I wouldn’t have to do anything. You would be taken care of way before the bleacher creatures got to you. Ha Ha and that is not sarcasm.

    The Dodgers have fans??

    I liked the Moceanu favorite things the best. (of mine. Of yours I liked the Nastia one) I suppose I could have added a few more things such as the following,

    2. She isn’t Triplets
    3- She isn’t quadruplets
    4- she isn’t octo mom

    etc… but that would border on repetitive.

    • Sarah! Says:

      No, I missed the Red Sox off season. When you say Fenway doesn’t allow suck shirts, you mean anything with the word suck on it, or just suck in regards to the Red Sox?

      Would people really be pissed if I wore a Red Sox suck shirt? Even if I’m small and pretty and all that? (haha – I seriously doubt that would matter.)

      The Dodgers do have fans, but not as many since fat-ass Shawn threw a first pitch into the fucking dirt.

      Yeah, your Moceanu fave things was appropriate: this would would be in so much trouble if there were two of her. But what is an octo mom? Is that a woman who has 8 or 10 or however many babies? (Math isn’t my strong point.)


  3. gymtruthteller Says:

    Yes Octo mom is the mom that had 8 kids after she already had a million before.

    You didn’t follow our off season? We Out Yankeed the Yankees. It was awesome.

    No Fenway allows no suck shirts. They make our fans change the Yankee suck shirts. We are a clever bunch though we just hide them until we get in then wear them:)

    If you want to have beer dumped on your head and gum put on your seat when you come back from the bathroom then I dare you to wear a Sox suck shirt to Fenway.

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